Could not make this stuff up

My students tell me I say some pretty funny things. The problem, they say, is they cannot tell when being funny is my intent.

I will save you the trouble of thinking too hard. I will now try to be funny. The comments that follow are absolutely factually accurate. I swear. It is my interpretation that is supposed to be funny.

Anyway, there I was at the end of a long week, at the club, working out. I was listening to Al Gore – Assault on Reason – on the ipod. After I was able to ramp the stairmaster up to a burn rate of a couple of calories a minute, I began to pay attention to my surroundings. Within my field of vision are three television sets each with a different show and all running closed captioning. On my left (told you this would be hard to make up) was CNN. On the right was Fox. I will get to the middle display at the end.

The individuals appearing on both televisions are the same. I know from experience that the spin must be going in opposite directions. What I can figure out from the closed captioning is that the word of the day is – Repudiate. There is a black minister and an older white woman and evidently both are racists. Some weird club they must belong to. The repudiate thing has something to do with these racists.

Then there was the image of Colin Powell. Not sure what he was there for and I don’t think anyone was trying to repudiate him.

You know, humor is a funny thing. Sometimes we try to be funny when life makes us nervous.

I hope the candidates get past this repudiate thing. I want to know if anyone besides me is worried about the stock market. I do repudiate falling stock prices and rising gas costs. Sorry.

Anyway – the television in the middle was playing a Bob Newhart rerun. Just what I needed – a pretend psychologist to help me deal with the schizophrenic situation I was in.

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