A Rare Rant – My Adventures in the Wonderful World of Palm, Inc.

It all started quite innocently enough. It appears some educators see potential in the humble handheld. I had always thought of mine as a way to keep track of my appointments. Perhaps I should investigate. Step 1 – upgrade from Palm V to Palm 505. Now, I appear to have a slightly more expensive version of what I originally used to keep track of my appointments. I can??t say I see any new ??essential?? uses, but I will keep my eyes open and try new ideas as they arise.

I am having difficulty with the 505 when I try to go mobile (walk across campus). I go somewhere, take notes, update my calendar, etc., get back to my office and find that the 505 has frozen up. I don??t mean frozen up in the sense that I live in North Dakota and when it is -20 (like today) things get cold. I mean the Palm stops working until I poke a paperclip through the little hole in the back and restart it. This activity somewhat defeats the purpose of carrying it around to gather information to bring back to my office.

Like a good technology user, I go online and visit the Palm web site. I learn that the 505 appears to have some design flaw that results in a static charge causing difficulty and I am entitled to a new cradle. I call up customer support and ask about this difficulty. Sure enough, they will send me a new cradle. However, I suggest that the static issue may come into play before the Palm is inserted in the cradle. It seems to me that carrying the Palm in your coat pocket in the dry and cold season (translated winter in North Dakota) may cause similar static problems that have nothing to do with the cradle. What could I do about this problem? I could buy a case to carry my Palm in my pocket. I thought I might just carry my Palm in my backpack instead. Did I want them to ship the new cradle? No, I said, that has never been a problem.

I notice that a couple of my colleagues are starting to bring their Palms to meetings and they then assemble a sort of folded-up keyboard that allows them to take notes. Perhaps I should get one of these keyboards so that I can retain my status as a tech-savvy guy. I could carry my Palm and this keyboard in my backpack instead of my laptop.

Again, I go online and visit the Palm site. It turns out I can purchase a new portable keyboard for $79. However, I could also purchase a ??refurbished?? keyboard for $49. I decide to purchase a refurbished keyboard and a travel charger. Since I am now going to carry my Palm with me to gather all of the very important things I must know and remember, I don??t want to run out of power if I am away from my desk for lengthy periods of time. Perhaps, a short battery life is why my Palm freezes up on my cross-campus journeys.

A week plus or minus a day or two later, the box from the Palm store arrives. Sure enough – a charger and a genuine fold-up keyboard. I open the plastic wrapped keyboard and attempt to connect my Palm (being careful not to generate any static electricity). The plug-in on the keyboard does not seem to match the connector on the bottom of the Palm. I am not pleased.

When you order an item from the Palm store, you are sent several emails to assure you that progress is being made in getting the merchandise you have purchased into your hands. First, you receive an email verifying that your order has been received. A couple of days later you receive an email indicating that your order has been shipped including a link to the FEDEX site so you can track your package as it makes the journey across the country. There is also a link to the Palm Store so you can contact customer service.

The problem is soon apparent to me. I ordered item P10802U-REF (REF for refurbished I assume) and I was sent item P10713U. I immediately find the last email from Palm and use the link to find “customer service.” It turns out I can simply send an email and explain my problem. Hey- I ordered item P10802U-REF for my 505 and you send me a keyboard that will not connect. A few hours later I receive a reply – the P10802U-REF is the proper keyboard for your 505. If this product is defective you can call Technical Support at 847-262-7256.

I try a second time. Actually, I first use Google to look up P10713U so I can explain that the Palm store has sent me the keyboard for whatever Palm instead of the 505. Google is amazing and sure enough Palm and P10713U do identify a product. This is a keyboard for the 105 and several older modles. I also learn there are many sources for P10713Us out there and I could buy one for $14 if I wanted. Armed with this new information, I construct another email. Do not pay any attention to the packing slip. I am not claiming the P10802U-REF would not work with my Palm. I am claiming you sent me a different keyboard. I am certain this is not the keyboard for the 505. There are only 10 pins on the connector for the keyboard and the 505, the 505 cradle and the 505 power supply all have more. The connector also is at least a quarter inch wider than the opening on the 505 so it would be impossible to join these two devices, Perhaps you grabbed this one out of the wrong bin in the warehouse.

Palm Problem

I have yet to receive a reply to this email. It may have been the comment about the alternate sources for $14 keyboards. I was just concerned that Palm might need to restock.

Next day – I wait until after 10 – would not want to contact a west coast employee too early in the morning. I call the number for technical support. I am now connected to some type of decision tree — at some point along the line I am informed that I may be asked to pay a fee because my Palm was purchased several months ago (I am not worried), I enter my phone number, press the pound sign and begin to listen to music interspersed with information about Palm products. It is not exactly the day to try to sell me something. I am also told that my call may be monitored. I hope so! Finally, Mike is on the line, He needs to know my phone number. Then my last name. It turns I out I don??t exist – at least in the Palm database. I have purchased two Palms I offer – hoping he will not hang up. My wife bought them for me. I begin to tell the story of ordering a refurbished keyboard for my Palm – the P10802U-REF to be exact. But, I was sent the P10713U. Don??t bother to look that up – it is not really the keyboard I need, but I could get one for $14 (I am starting to have flashbacks to the song Alice??s Restaurant, but this may not offer any insight to any of you who are not of my generation). The connector will not work, but I don??t think this is really a technical problem, I was simply sent the wrong item. This item has only 10 connector pins and is too wide, etc. I was right Mike said – this is not the correct keyboard for a 505. Finally, I have reached someone who understands. Now – Wait a minute, it turns out Mike is from technical support. You need to talk with someone at the Palm Store, Mike says. I will connect you — don’t worry if the connection goes dead for a few moments. Just a minute, I say, do you know anything about the static problem in the 505. Too late – Mike is gone. I wait. It is Mike again – what is your phone number again?

A few minutes later, without any concern on my part that my connection had gone dead, I hear a woman??s voice. Can I help you? I proceeded to tell her the entire story of my quest for a fold-up keyboard. How, I ordered a P10802U-REF, but was sent a P10713U which actually the wrong keyboard and quite overpriced at that. What should I do? I would be sent a label so I could send my keyboard (the P10713U) back without charge. Would I be sent a P10802U-REF?, I want to know. We don??t have a P10802U-REF in stock, I was told. Did you have a P10802U-REF, when you filled my original order?, I ask.

Possibly not was the reply.

For $30 more, we will credit your order toward a brand new keyboard. That was it for me. May I speak with your supervisor, please.

Insert entire story of the P10802U-REF at this point. Sure enough, my options are to pay $30 or to be awarded credit for the P10713U (or whatever). Credit toward what – I wanted to know? Will you give me credit for this phone call (now going on 40 minutes)? So, I asked, who do you assume made a mistake in this situation. Why is it that after two hours of my time and a 40 minute long distance phone call, my only way to obtain a keyboard from Palm is to pay $30. I could have made the trip to my local Best Buy 2 weeks ago for the same price, without this phone call, and for considerably less aggravation. Our policies do not allow us to reimburse you for your time or expense and unfortunately we do not have the item you ordered two weeks ago.

Hmm – Thanks for your time, I said. Next time I will call customer support (this last comment was unnecessary and I apologize).

I am sorry you had to read all of this. However, I needed to find some way to get something out of this particular life experience. I guess it is like Arlo Guthrie said – you can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant (I mean the Palm Store)

Still in quest of the illusive P10802U-REF. Anyone need an overpriced P10713U?

By the way, the lyrics for Alice’s Restaurant are available online.

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